I thought this was a very interesting call to manhood especially in the fashion industry. Check out this link from Dockers and tell me what you think. If you need to refresh the page, click on "Man-ifesto" on Dockers' website.


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Your Calling

As men, we are called to work. We are to provide for ourselves, but above and beyond that, we are called to provide for our families. Sometimes, I find myself not wanting to work because I'd rather be doing something else or spending time with my wife. One thing that I have learned is that this is an issue of my attitudes and ultimately, an issue of my heart. I should find joy in the fact that I have a job and that I have a means to provide for my family. It is extremely easy to take this for granted. What if I could not find a sufficient paying job? God has certainly blessed us. He is faithful.

I want to encourage you to work and to work hard. Let this verse encourage you:

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ." Colossians 3:23-24

If we are discouraged because of our work environment, we must stop working for our selfishness and work for our families and ultimately work as for the Lord. If we are discontent in our job situation, we must reevaluate our reasons for working. This is not just how "life" happens. Rather, this is what we are called to do in being men. We are called to work hard. Be diligent in your work.

Working hard does not make you a man. You are already a man, so work hard.

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Make War (Video)

This is a video by Tedashii featuring Flame and John Piper. I have never been much into rap music, but this song is great. Honestly, I am glad that this video has the lyrics included because it is hard for me to keep up sometimes! Even more, I am glad that there are Christian rap artists that are preaching the Gospel. Such an encouragement! Anyway, hope you enjoy the video and I hope you are encouraged to make war against the sin in your life.

"This song just makes you feel like a man." - M. Berhow

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Can You See Heaven, Yet?

Often times, Christians lose sight of eternal life here and that which is yet to come. So, I want to recommend Phil Wickham's newest CD release, "Heaven and Earth." My wife got me the package deal for my birthday and it is absolutely amazing. Every single one Phil's CDs have been amazing and Gospel centered. I strongly encourage you to pick up this CD when it comes out or pre-order it as a package.

You will not be disappointed! I will write a review soon.

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Wage War

Men, we are called to protect our families. There are so many areas to consider when thinking about protecting the family. Yes, we need to protect them if someone physically threatens them, but most of the time, we ignore the subtle areas where the enemy sneaks in undetected. Spiritually speaking, we need to protect our wives and children from the wiles of Satan by doing whatever it takes.

Are you doing this? What about the movies you bring into your home that are filled with foul language, explicit scenes, etc? What about letting your child watch the television or surf the Internet without supervision? Do you even have protection on your computer that blocks unwanted pictures or filthy advertisements that pop up? What about the magazines that you get in the mail and leave around the home that contain revealing advertisements? When going somewhere, do you think about taking a different route to avoid explicit billboards and signs? I could go on and on...

So, how do we wage war against these things? Be intentional. Get rid of movies or magazines in the home that could be dangerous to your family. Be in the Word of God. Be continuously transformed by the renewing of your mind. Write the Word of God on your heart and on the door frames of your house. Let your family know where you stand.

In waging this war, we need help. We need to be in constant fellowship with other godly men. This is essential. In order to wage war against the schemes of Satan, we need other godly men to relate to and to keep us accountable in our walk with the Lord. They help us in our battles throughout life and in the family. If you have ever talked to men who have experienced the horror of war, you have most likely heard them talk about the other men in their troop who would do absolutely anything for them, even today. This is because there is something to be said about men who experience trials and hardships together. There is a special bond. We need godly men in our lives to encourage us and hold us up if we expect to be successful in waging war.

You cannot go into battle alone. Wars like the Civil War, the Battle of Gettysburg, Vietnam War, WWI and WWII were never fought by one man. A myriad of men fought together and died together. So too, we must wage war against Satan together.

The drum beats have started. The war paint has been applied. Throw away your sword's sheath, you won't be needing it. Brace yourself with other godly men. Wage War.

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Over The Grave

Interested in some great music?

Take a moment to check out the music from Sojourn Community Church in Louisville, Ky. This is a great church and their music proves it. Click on the album cover to follow to their website.

This album is inspired by the hymns of Isaac Watts. The music on this first installment of the project is filled with variety and your ears will love you for listening to it. Trust me.

At the bottom of their page, there is a music player that will allow you to listen as you read about the project. Take advantage of it!

If you like what you hear, please feel free to follow this link for more of Sojourn's music:

Sojourn Music

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The Manly Attitude

I admit that I do not know everything when it comes to marriage and giving advice. I can only tell what I experience and what God shows and teaches me along the way. Having said that, one thing that my wife and I have struggled with is our responses to each other. If I say something, she may hear and understand it differently and vice versa. This seems to be an issue that is prevalent in most, if not all, marriages because men and women communicate differently.

So, with that understanding, I believe there is a more subtle means of communication that takes place along with our words. I have noticed how much my attitude can influence my wife. Sometimes, I find myself being selfish and interested in no one but myself. It’s not that I intentionally act this way, but it happens. And by having this type of behavior, she is subtly influenced to do the same. Then I wonder why she is acting that way when, all the while, her influence is me! Biblically speaking, an example is found in Genesis 3. Here we see God calling Adam and Eve out on their sin. When confronted with the sin, Adam automatically blames Eve, who then blames the serpent for the sin. Upon studying the passage, one can see that God is ultimately blamed.

Can you see how man’s attitude and behavior influenced the woman’s? Adam failed to lead Eve in a godly way. Instead of taking responsibility for the sin, he pushed it on Eve. Being the head of the home, the husband is directly responsible for how he leads the home through his actions and attitudes. We must be careful.

As men, how do we fight against such an issue? We are to discipline ourselves to have the attitude of Christ and we are to discipline ourselves for the purpose of godliness as seen in 1 Timothy 4:7. If we cultivate godly attitudes, then our homes will be saturated with godliness. For this to occur, we must immerse ourselves in the Word of God daily. Then we must teach our families the Scriptures. Yes, we must also teach our wives. Our wives are always looking to learn from us and the way that happens is by spending time in the Word, which overflows into the whole home. Gut level with you, this is something that I struggle to do, but it is extremely essential to a godly marriage.

Question for you: Are you being poured into by other godly men and the Word of God? Beyond that, are you pouring into your family and your wife and building your home on a godly foundation?

To see how Scripture applies to shaping our attitudes and our homes, we must turn to Philippians 2:1-11. Here we see the attitude of Christ, which we must implement into our lives. We must be concerned about other people and less concerned with ourselves. If the Word of God is true, and it is, why is it so hard for men to cultivate this type of attitude and behavior? The reason why men struggle with this is because of pride. In other words, we do not want to be seen as weak or lowly. This is especially true in marriage. We want our wives to see us as bold and courageous rather than wimpy or someone who is easily run over by others.

This pride that I am talking about is an issue of the heart. The solution is not behavior modification. Yes, you can change the way you act, but your heart needs to be changed. Just as Romans 12:2 says, we must “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Also, Ephesians 5:1 calls us to be imitators of Christ. There must be a change in how we think and act but it begins in the heart. And only God can change our callous hearts.

It’s a never ending battle that must be fought by every man that desires to have a godly home. I say that it “must” be fought for because we will be held responsible by God for how we lead our homes and how we lead our wives. I want my wife to see my transparently. I want her to see Jesus in me and the way this happens is by having a growing relationship with Christ and then desiring to have the attitude of Christ as we have seen in Philippians 2. Let this be an everyday challenge to you to lead your wife to Christ. Be intentional and always lead her to the cross. Like you and I, she needs to be reminded of the Gospel every day. Show her what the Gospel looks like lived out.

Do not have the typical manly attitude in the home. It is prideful and defames God and prevents His glory from being seen in the home. Rather, have the mind and attitude of Christ. Imitate Him and be transformed by the renewing of your mind in Christ.

Suggested Reading:
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Book of the Week

This week's reading recommendation is called, "Peacemaking for Families" by Ken Sande with Tom Raabe. It's an excellent source for dealing conflict in the home.

According to the Sande: "Learning to be a peacemaker will help you to guard your family from destructive conflict, deepen your love and intimacy with your spouse, and provide your children with a solid foundation for life. Most importantly, you can provide the world with a compelling witness to Jesus Christ's reconciling power." How true!

Do you ever get tired of reading books that only offer "5 steps to..." or "8 ways to..." I certainly do, but this is one book that does not do that. It's not super long, but it is packed with information dealing with conflict in marriage, confession, confrontation, forgiveness, teaching children how to be peacemakers, etc. You will find encouragement from cover to cover. All in all, the authors seek to reveal the real issue of sin in the home, which is the sinful heart.

So, take some time to go and pick this book up. It is well worth your time and investment. If anything, it's for your family's sake.

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Protect Your Children

Parents, please do whatever it takes to protect your children. In Australia, a mom experienced the fright of her child's stroller rolling off a platform into the path of a train. Thankfully, the train was slowing down anyway and the baby survived the incident.

For the full news coverage:

Baby Survives After Carriage Falls Off Australia Train Platform

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Truth Couch

Key Verse: Matthew 18:21-22

Okay, here’s the deal. Since getting married, my wife and I have not gotten into a fight. With that out on the table, I get a little aggravated with people who say, “Oh, you just wait, you’ll have a fight.” Why do people say this? I believe it’s because people settle with the mentality of expecting a fight to come along any day. If you are waiting for and expecting a fight to start between you and your spouse “some day,” then you have just opened the door to allow even the smallest quirk to become “the largest problem known in the existence of man.” How dare us! With this pattern of thought, you have just “told the devil where your goat is tied” (that’s a South Georgia expression). Why not seek to be at peace?

Why settle for this mentality? Because we are lazy! Marriage takes work. We cannot put marriage on autopilot and expect it to get better. Marriage is absolutely amazing, but being that it is a sacred unity between husband and wife before God, it cannot and must not be handled this way. Men, we must lead our wives according to the Word of God, which calls us to forgive. If you are able to forgive but she is struggling to forgive you, then let the Holy Spirit work on her heart. Do not try to make her forgive or force her into a false forgiveness that only band-aides the real issue: pride. Obviously, pride is the main issue because in an argument, we want to be the one who is always right, right?

What is false forgiveness? Let me explain. I use this term because people do not like confrontation. Rather, we say, “It’s okay, don’t worry about it” when in fact, whatever the issue, we are just masking the problem. This is one thing that I have had to learn since being married. You cannot pretend that everything is okay and just move on. Issues must be addressed! How do you know if you have ever offered false forgiveness? Well, the next time you are wronged and you bring up something of the past that the other person has done, there you go! You never forgave them in the first place! Ultimately, it is an issue of the heart. From our mouths we speak, but do not speak the truth (see Luke 6:45). Pride is prevalent on both sides of the marriage bed and can come about in the blink of an eye and develop into a cancer of the heart. The husband’s pride and the wife’s pride must be torn down. The way to do this is something I will discuss shortly.

Before that, we, as men, need to see that we must forgive on the spot (the same is true for women). There is no other option when the spotlight has been placed on you and your wife even in private. Yes, my wife and I have disagreements but we have learned to ask for forgiveness as soon as possible. Before emotions go crazy and words start flying, the heart must be addressed. I believe this is the correct and biblical foundation on which to build a healthy and stable marriage. Address the heart of the problem, not just the symptoms.

When we got married, we were looking for a couch for our main room. Being in an apartment, we could not fit anything massive and did not want anything that was extremely small. So, we landed a good deal on a pull-out couch from a co-worker of mine. Of all the colors, this couch happens to be pale pink, but hey, it somehow looks nice with all the other colors in the apartment. What’s so special about this couch? Well, it has become our “truth couch.” Most times, whenever we have a disagreement, one of us leads the other to the couch and we talk it out. Instead of standing and getting tensed up during a disagreement, we are able to sit down and relax and talk. Every talk has been encouraging and it draws us closer to each other. Remember that the key is living out the command from Jesus to forgive others and live at peace with everyone. Know the truth, live the truth. You must be living out the Gospel.

Husband, what about you? You are able to forgive, but are you willing to when your wife wrongs you? I encourage you to have a place where you and your wife can relax and talk about the issue. You will find it to be beneficial to do so, but realize that that you will always struggle with your selfishness that does not want to forgive. Because of this, we must desire to forgive because God has forgiven us. If you have not placed your trust and life in Christ, then you will not understand true forgiveness. Understanding of true forgiveness comes when you see that you have greatly offended God, but He has greatly forgiven you. I once heard, “If you are not willing to forgive, then you are saying that God’s forgiveness is meaningless.”

How true.

Remember, this is an issue of the heart. Once you start with that understanding, you are on your way to a successful, meaningful and healthy talk with your wife. Be prepared for a blessed marriage!

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Book of the Week

Here's a book that I have read and have thoroughly enjoyed:

"Pastoral Leadership for Manhood and Womanhood" by Wayne Grudem and Dennis Rainey.

In this book, you will hear from men like Danny Akin, Ken Sande, C.J. Mahaney, Paul David Tripp, Paige Patterson, Wayne Grudem and others on topics like marriage, fatherhood, men's ministry, singles ministry, church discipline, small groups and even homosexuality. With such a large array of topics, you will learn about the pastor's personal life, opportunities for personal and church growth, and challenges that Christians face today. So, go pick up a copy and start reading and be encouraged! It's an easy and time-worthy read and I am certain that you will thoroughly enjoy it, too!

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Who Is Willing?

At this very moment, there is a problem that is severely permeating our culture. With one glance into a group of males anyone can see there are apparent differences such as height, weight, skin color, hair type and so on. But I am speaking of a difference that goes much deeper into the very being and cannot be seen with just once glance. Shooting with you straight, there are boys who refuse to become men and become who they are called to be. This is a refusal to accept the burden of manhood. It can be overwhelming because of all the responsibility that incurs due to marriage, children, work, church, recreation and any other aspect you want to include. Because of this refusal, many males are following after the deception of entertainment and pointless ventures and are not willing to accept the responsibilities of manhood.

Since this website is mainly for men who are married, I encourage single men to read it and learn as well. I say this with the understanding that not every guy is called to be married. But for both married and single men, you are still a male who needs to learn to give up the trivial things and be a man. All men need to understand that they need to take care of business. Growing up, my dad always encouraged me to do things and to do them right the first time. Whether it was yard work, changing my truck’s oil or whatever, he always encouraged me in that direction. Yes, it was painful at times to learn and that was due to my stubbornness, but I am extremely thankful for him teaching me that principle. It taught me what it means to become a man in practical ways.

Now, do not get me wrong. I am not saying that boys need to grow up to become macho men who can shoulder stacks of lumber like they are nothing. Being macho is not what I am talking about. It is pointless to be able to shoulder those stacks of lumber unless you are able to take them and build something. I believe that even macho men can crumble under the weight of manhood responsibility or even become overly demanding in order to handle situations in life. Both instances are dangerous. Rather, boys need to become men who are willing to gladly (this is key) take up the burden of manhood responsibilities (shoulder the stacks of lumber) and become men and one day husbands who love and adore their wives (build stable relationships, etc. with the stacks of lumber).

In regards to your wife, men, I plead with you to be Jesus to your wife. Let her see, know and feel the love of Christ through your love for her. I adore my wife and I tell her. What good is it for me to adore and cherish my wife and not tell her? It is absolutely essential for her to hear it and because of hearing it, she knows it without a shadow of a doubt. (If you have not done this in a while, it may sweep her off her feet again. Wow!) Try this: the next time you bite into a well-seasoned steak and make a comment about it being the absolute best, take a moment to compliment your wife and tell her you love her. It’s not that hard. Never be too prideful to tell your wife how you feel about her every day. It is okay to be mushy with your wife; that’s how she operates. Whether you are 20 years old or 80, let your wife know that she is wanted and that she is loved. Do whatever it takes to rekindle that flame.

Guys, it’s all about perspective. Shoulder the stacks of lumber in life and marriage and build your life on the foundation of the Word of God.

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Thank you for coming to this website. Since you are here, I would greatly appreciate it if you would please take a few minutes to read. Men, I hope you'll find some encouragement on this page, but please take note that I will only be able to post a few times a week because of my schedule. Wives, if this page is something your husbands would want to read, pass it on. All in all, be encouraged!

If you like what you read, please visit my other website: The [FOUND] Project.

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