A Man Named Husband

Tissue? Crybaby...

2010-08-03T16:29:00.008-04:00

Don't be a wimp. Be a man.

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It's The Dad Life

2010-07-13T15:51:00.002-04:00

This is too funny...

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It's a GIRL!

2010-07-08T11:03:00.022-04:00

This past Tuesday, we had our first sonogram. Going into the appointment, we were really nervous and praying for a healthy baby. And praise the Lord, we will be having a healthy baby girl! Here's her first pictures:

It has been fun to hear everyone give their predictions, but I "knew" we were going to have a girl. Just kidding. Above all the predictions, God is the One who gives and does so graciously and abundantly! And we are extremely excited to see what all God has in store for our family! More so, we are excited to be the recipients of God's grace and favor.

When we saw all the images and movements of our baby girl, we couldn't help but cry. I cannot express the joy we are experiencing right now. We are having a baby girl!

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How Do You Find Joy In Serving?

2010-06-17T14:01:00.004-04:00

Biblical Answer: God wants you to serve your wife. As Christ has loved the church so we are to love our wives (Ephesians 5:25). A way to lead her and love her immensely is by serving her.

Since finding out 4 months ago that my wife is pregnant, I have had to put some things in my life on hold in order to help her and take care of her. For you guys who do not understand what I am talking about, along with being pregnant comes nausea, fatigue, loss/change of appetite, loss of sleep and the list goes on. There has been a change of pace around our home. Having said that, how do you find joy in dropping what appears to be a list of important tasks in order to care for someone else, namely your wife?

As godly men, we are called to be good stewards of all that He has given to us. This includes our wives. We must understand, first and foremost, that our wives belong to God. With that, you and I have the biblical responsibility to care for our wives by leading them in a way that honors and pleases the Lord. Because serving is biblical, we are to lead our God-given wives by serving them. Lead by serving.

But how do we actually do that?? How about something as simple as...doing things without complaining? Or...helping with something that she would not normally expect you to help with, like the dishes. Better yet...tell her to go relax while you take care of the kids or cook a meal or clean the house. Do something that will bless her!

Also, reevaluate your relationship with your wife. How are you doing with loving her? Does she know that you still love her? When was the last time you told her? When was the last time you showed her? I am extremely thankful that I can show my love instead of just telling my wife that I love her. Love is not just a feeling/thought/idea, but rather, it is an action verb! Love does not sit still, but instead, it DOES SOMETHING. My wife hears it and sees it. She fully knows that she is loved by me. She fully knows that she is taken care of by me. I have the desire to serve my wife. Do you?

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to serve my wife. We babysat for some friends of ours and while there, Michelle passed out. She was taking a nap on the couch and jumped up when the doorbell rang. With this increased blood flow in her body, she passed out. On the way home, she threw up and did so later that Saturday afternoon. Needless to say, she was sick most of the day on Saturday and some of the day on Sunday. We were not sure if this was due to her pregnancy or her having a stomach bug. During this time, I had to drop everything that I wanted to do in order to cook, clean and buy groceries for her. This gave her the time that she needed to relax and recuperate. Praise the Lord for the opportunity to serve my wife!

Sometimes it may be hard to know how to serve your wife. The main gist of this article is the need for men to have a servant's heart when it comes to interacting with their wives. Make sure she knows that you are willing to help her in the home and outside the home (kids going crazy in public). This is such a huge support structure for your marriage and your relationship with your wife.

Jesus gave us the greatest example of a servant's heart in John 13:1-17. In particular, verse 17 struck me as the key to the servant's heart. You can know all about serving and how to do so, but until you sacrifice to serve someone, you'll have a hard time grasping it. What are you giving up in order to serve?

Does it humble a man to serve his wife? Yes, but didn't the King of Glory humble himself and take on the form of a man in order to be the Suffering Servant found in Isaiah 53? Since Jesus left the glories of heaven to have a servant's heart, is it too much to ask of a husband to serve his wife?

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One Year Later

2010-05-28T09:55:00.049-04:00

On June 13, 2009, Michelle and I entered into a marriage covenant between each other and God.

This is one decision that I will never regret. I can hardly believe that we have been married for one year. It has flown by, but I have enjoyed every single minute of it.

I'll admit it...I'm still on our honeymoon and I gladly rejoice in it! Tell me that this phase of life will end and I'll call that foolish. I believe people lose their "honeymoon feeling" because they stop working on their marriage.

My wife is worth fighting for when my time, my heart, my attention, my decisions and everything else gets tested by the world. Our marriage is worth fighting for just the same. (Note: Men...guard your marriage, your wife, and your heart from the world.)

I love my wife.

I love her more today than when I first understood that she was the one I was to marry. I know that sounds cliche and I have heard other people say it time and time again, but I understand it now. I cannot wait for our relationship to continue to grow in the years to come, Lord willing.

There she is...beaming with joy right before our wedding. Isn't she gorgeous? This is the woman I absolutely love. This is the woman who holds my heart.

Does it sound a bit too much for me to keep talking about my wife and how much I love and adore her? Absolutely not. I want you to know how I feel about her and how much I care about her.

As you probably already read, we are pregnant with our first child. We have already heard his or her heartbeat and he or she is about the size of an onion this coming week. We are extremely excited about this child and continue to pray for God's protection and provision for him or her.

There she is...pregnant and beautiful!

As I have stated in a previous post, "Now that I am going to be a daddy, I cannot wrap my head around Psalm 139:13-16. I mean, to talk about God knitting and forming a baby in the womb is one thing, but to actually see it in progress is completely different. I am truly amazed by the work of our great God!"

I am so very thankful for our marriage! I am thankful that the Lord has been providing for us so abundantly. We have truly seen God's faithfulness to us. Trust me, if you remain faithful to the Lord, His abundant grace and provisions will become apparent.

For us, He has provided everything right when we needed it. This reminds me of Matthew 6:25-33. Men, here's the key. Provide for your family, but above all, rely on the Lord and teach your family to trust Him. Remember that you will fail. But if you have taught your family to trust God in everything, their complete trust will not be rooted in man (you), but in God.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this summary from our first year of marriage. Michelle and I cannot wait see what all God has in store for us! We ask that you continue to pray for us as our child is due in November and as we continue to seek the Lord's guidance for the future.

Be encouraged!

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How To Recover From Failure

2010-05-19T13:59:00.030-04:00

As a follow-up from my last post, how do you recover from failing to lead your family in a biblical way? To be honest, I have not been intentional with my family. I fail in leading my family in Bible study. I do not lead in talking about God and what He has been doing in our family. This is something that I am definitely working on. I am sure you probably feel this way or have felt this way at one point or another in your life. Feel free to share your heart.

Although we fail at leading our families at times, God grants us grace and His grace is sufficient. But that does not give us, as husbands, slack. We must constantly strive to lead our families and I believe that God will honor and bless our efforts. Our wives are begging for godly leadership and stability from us. Our children are in dire need for us to teach, lead and love them. Husband, do you love your wife enough to lead her and love her as Christ loves the church? Father, do you care for your children in a way that lets them see your love for them?

If your family does not feel love and leadership from you, they will find it somewhere else. They will find it in someone else. This is why wives are leaving their husbands and children are growing up in rebellion. (Note: Wives, please do not give up on your husbands! Pray for them! Show them your love and support!) It is time for us to stop being boys and begin living as mature and godly husbands and fathers. Begin by grounding yourself in the Word of God and by confessing your failure to your family. They will greatly appreciate your honesty and will begin to see your leadership at this point. Are you willing to recover from your failure or are you complacent to remain defeated?

How are you leading your family? Please share.

I recently heard this amazing song by Sanctus Real, "Lead Me." This song really convicted me about how I lead my family.

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It's Easy To Fail

2010-05-10T10:05:00.015-04:00

I recently read this article by Justin Hyde, an Acts 29 pastor from Brenham, Texas. This is an article called "How I Pastor My Family" and it is DEFINITELY worth reading!

Men, I hope this article will challenge you to reevaluate your home and how you pastor your family. You may not be a pastor of a church, but as a follow of Christ, you are the leader (pastor) of your family.

Remember that failure will happen. Hyde reminds us that it is easy to fail and to fail often. He also says,

"Please know, I fail often. I need much grace. God has given me a forgiving wife and patient kids. Husbands/dads, this is the most important work you'll ever do, and it will have more impact than anything you could imagine. Wives/moms, encourage your man to lead; create conditions in which he can succeed. Couples, be patient and forgiving. Don't be short-sighted. Love well. And savor your time together."

Click the picture above to read the article and for photo credit.

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I'm REALLY a Daddy!!

2010-05-04T20:08:00.014-04:00

Today, Michelle and I went to hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time. Today, we met our baby. Wow...I am a daddy...I'm REALLY a daddy!! I use to think that I "will be a daddy" when the baby is born, but I fully believe that I am a daddy NOW! I am overwhelmed with this very thought! Our baby is alive and well! Praise God! Praise our Creator!

During our doctor visit, I was able to capture audio of our baby's heartbeat. In this video, you will hear LIFE. In this video, you will hear what I will continue to CHERISH for the rest of my life.

Baby Roland Heartbeat @ 11 Weeks from Michelle Roland on Vimeo.

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Getting Ready: Parenthood

2010-05-04T08:30:00.016-04:00

My wife is now 11 weeks along in her pregnancy. We are even more excited today than we were yesterday about our child! Now that I am going to be a daddy, I cannot wrap my head around Psalm 139:13-16. I mean, to talk about God knitting and forming a baby in the womb is one thing, but to actually see it in progress is completely different. I am truly amazed by the work of our great God!

This morning I read from a friend's blog that was really encouraging. He and his wife have a 3 month old little boy and they are such a great family. They have started a "New Parenting Series" on their website. If you are a parent or are expecting, please take a look at their website. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

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Family on FIRE

2010-05-03T12:30:00.013-04:00

Here is a great article from a church planting blog by Dustin Neeley of Louisville, Ky. Dustin is the pastor of Crossing Church where my wife and I serve. He has a heart for the proclamation of the Gospel as evidenced each week in his sermons. My wife and I are very thankful for his ministry and the ministry of Crossing.

Please click the photo to read this article:

Photo Credit

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Just For Fun...

2010-05-03T09:19:00.003-04:00

Okay, I ran across this SNL video the other day. It is a good laugh. Enjoy!

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All I Have Is Christ

2010-04-16T10:05:00.010-04:00

The past 3 days, Michelle and I have been at T4G here in Louisville. T4G stands for "Together for the Gospel." It is an amazing time of worship and hearing from speakers like Dr. Albert Mohler, C.J. Mahaney, John Piper, Ligon Duncan and others. This year there were nearly 7,000 attendees present. It was definitely a life-changing experience and it was all centered on the Gospel. Think about this: 7,000 people from different Christian denominations and ministries, but all have been changed by the Gospel, all are focused on the Gospel and all are sharing the Gospel!

Here is one of the songs we sang. I hope you are blessed.

I will be writing more about T4G soon.

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Exciting News!

2010-03-31T10:28:00.011-04:00

So, my wife and I have been married for 9 months and we just found out that she is 6 weeks pregnant! We have been trying since the beginning of 2010, but stopped in order to take care of other things (dental, etc.). This is a prime example of God's sovereignty because He still allowed us to get pregnant! This shows that God's plan for our lives will be done no matter what. He is in absolute control. Anyway, the whole process of learning that she is pregnant has been VERY interesting (ER visits, etc.) You can read all about it here.

To follow every step of our journey towards parenthood, bookmark our blog.

We are extremely excited and cannot wait to be parents. Please be praying for us and pray that God will prepare us to be godly parents for our baby. Also, go ahead and prepare yourself because I will be writing on this website as a husband AND a father. Praise God!

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When God Turned His Back On Jesus

2010-03-02T16:36:00.008-05:00

Here is the sermon video from today's chapel service at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Dr. Donald Whitney is the speaker and his text is from Matthew 27:45-50. The title of his sermon is "When God Turned His Back On Jesus." This is an incredible sermon and I strongly encourage you to listen.

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Railroad Tracks

2010-02-27T11:39:00.026-05:00

It happens to everyone. You are driving with ease and come upon a railroad crossing. At first glance everything seems clear, but as you get closer the warning lights start flashing. It always seems to happen at the most inopportune times, right? Now, when this happens, the first thought is, "I wonder if I can make it?" So you speed up only to see that it is too late and the railroad arms are coming down and the train is in sight. This is where the heavy foot of impatience begins to grit its teeth and snarl. Well, for me, this is the case.

The other day this happened to me. I was on my way to work and suddenly the warning signs started flashing. Like normal, my first thought is awakened, but I end up disappointed. I get frustrated because it is going to be a waste of my time and the trains in Louisville are typically long and slow. I stopped my vehicle and proceeded to text my wife to tell her about my misfortune. By the time my text was sent, the train was gone.

For some odd reason, this made me start to think, mainly about my responses over the smallest things like this. Why do I get frustrated with flashing lights and railroad arms that are purposed to protect me from trains and save my life? Moreover, why do I find myself wanting to rush through the railroad crossing without taking a moment to understand what the bright flashing lights are telling me?

Sometimes, I bet we find ourselves doing the very same thing with God. We seek to make decisions based on what we deem as right and best for ourselves. If that is the case, then I should be dead right now because of a train. Whenever I begin to question if I can “make it through” God’s warnings, I begin to ignore God’s best for my life.

Men, we are called to be leaders who can make decisions that are for the best for our families. As followers of Jesus Christ, we are called to see ourselves as weak. I know, I know…how are we supposed to be leaders and confess to being weak too? It seems to contradict until you look to see what the Word of God has to say about it. Great passages that remind us of this are James 4:10 and Philippians 2:5-11. We are called to humble ourselves and this is a good thing. Only by submitting ourselves to Christ and implanting the Word of God in our hearts and minds will we ever come to the place of godly decision-making. We have to understand that God created the family and we need to trust Him and His Word when it comes to leading our families.

The next time you face a decision, take time to look to see what God wants you to do. Never rush into anything. Exercise patience and wait on God's timing. Trust me, my wife and I have wanted to rush into a decision, but instead, we waited on God and it proved to be for the best. Be still and know that He is God, that He is sovereign over all things and that you are weak. It is a good thing.

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Where's Dad?

2010-02-24T07:32:00.013-05:00

This broke my heart when I saw it. Usually, I want you to enjoy the videos that I post, but this time, I want this video to make you cringe. I want the question, "Where's Dad?" to be driven to your heart.

I do not know the home situation of this family, but it sure is evidence of the lack of the father in the home. Most of all, it is the lack of Christ in the home.

By the way, I am not a fan of Dr. Phil.

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ManFood #2

2010-01-19T15:36:00.006-05:00

Battle is the most magnificent competition in which a human being can indulge. It brings out all that is best; it removes all that is base. All men are afraid in battle. The coward is the one who lets his fear overcome his sense of duty. Duty is the essence of manhood. - General George S. Patton

Take care of business.

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ManFood #1

2010-01-12T22:02:00.010-05:00

Every part of my relationship with my wife should have her sanctification in view. (See Ephesians 5)

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Adopting for Life

2010-01-06T12:16:00.006-05:00

On February 26-27th 2010, Southern Seminary will be hosting an adoption conference. Here's the video that has been created for this event. Despite stereotypical views, adoption is not something to be feared. It is a beautiful picture of the Gospel. Please watch this video.

Adopting For Life Conference- Friday & Saturday, February 26-27th 2010 from Southern Seminary on Vimeo.

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Man-ifesto

2009-12-13T20:37:00.007-05:00

I thought this was a very interesting call to manhood especially in the fashion industry. Check out this link from Dockers and tell me what you think. If you need to refresh the page, click on "Man-ifesto" on Dockers' website.

Man-ifesto

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Your Calling

2009-11-19T10:16:00.012-05:00

As men, we are called to work. We are to provide for ourselves, but above and beyond that, we are called to provide for our families. Sometimes, I find myself not wanting to work because I'd rather be doing something else or spending time with my wife. One thing that I have learned is that this is an issue of my attitudes and ultimately, an issue of my heart. I should find joy in the fact that I have a job and that I have a means to provide for my family. It is extremely easy to take this for granted. What if I could not find a sufficient paying job? God has certainly blessed us. He is faithful.

I want to encourage you to work and to work hard. Let this verse encourage you:

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ." Colossians 3:23-24

If we are discouraged because of our work environment, we must stop working for our selfishness and work for our families and ultimately work as for the Lord. If we are discontent in our job situation, we must reevaluate our reasons for working. This is not just how "life" happens. Rather, this is what we are called to do in being men. We are called to work hard. Be diligent in your work.

Working hard does not make you a man. You are already a man, so work hard.

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Make War (Video)

2009-11-12T08:27:00.010-05:00

This is a video by Tedashii featuring Flame and John Piper. I have never been much into rap music, but this song is great. Honestly, I am glad that this video has the lyrics included because it is hard for me to keep up sometimes! Even more, I am glad that there are Christian rap artists that are preaching the Gospel. Such an encouragement! Anyway, hope you enjoy the video and I hope you are encouraged to make war against the sin in your life.

"This song just makes you feel like a man." - M. Berhow

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Can You See Heaven, Yet?

2009-11-09T21:28:00.008-05:00

Often times, Christians lose sight of eternal life here and that which is yet to come. So, I want to recommend Phil Wickham's newest CD release, "Heaven and Earth." My wife got me the package deal for my birthday and it is absolutely amazing. Every single one Phil's CDs have been amazing and Gospel centered. I strongly encourage you to pick up this CD when it comes out or pre-order it as a package.

You will not be disappointed! I will write a review soon.

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Wage War

2009-10-27T20:04:00.034-04:00

Men, we are called to protect our families. There are so many areas to consider when thinking about protecting the family. Yes, we need to protect them if someone physically threatens them, but most of the time, we ignore the subtle areas where the enemy sneaks in undetected. Spiritually speaking, we need to protect our wives and children from the wiles of Satan by doing whatever it takes.

Are you doing this? What about the movies you bring into your home that are filled with foul language, explicit scenes, etc? What about letting your child watch the television or surf the Internet without supervision? Do you even have protection on your computer that blocks unwanted pictures or filthy advertisements that pop up? What about the magazines that you get in the mail and leave around the home that contain revealing advertisements? When going somewhere, do you think about taking a different route to avoid explicit billboards and signs? I could go on and on...

So, how do we wage war against these things? Be intentional. Get rid of movies or magazines in the home that could be dangerous to your family. Be in the Word of God. Be continuously transformed by the renewing of your mind. Write the Word of God on your heart and on the door frames of your house. Let your family know where you stand.

In waging this war, we need help. We need to be in constant fellowship with other godly men. This is essential. In order to wage war against the schemes of Satan, we need other godly men to relate to and to keep us accountable in our walk with the Lord. They help us in our battles throughout life and in the family. If you have ever talked to men who have experienced the horror of war, you have most likely heard them talk about the other men in their troop who would do absolutely anything for them, even today. This is because there is something to be said about men who experience trials and hardships together. There is a special bond. We need godly men in our lives to encourage us and hold us up if we expect to be successful in waging war.

You cannot go into battle alone. Wars like the Civil War, the Battle of Gettysburg, Vietnam War, WWI and WWII were never fought by one man. A myriad of men fought together and died together. So too, we must wage war against Satan together.

The drum beats have started. The war paint has been applied. Throw away your sword's sheath, you won't be needing it. Brace yourself with other godly men. Wage War.

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Over The Grave

2009-10-22T10:35:00.013-04:00

Interested in some great music?

Take a moment to check out the music from Sojourn Community Church in Louisville, Ky. This is a great church and their music proves it. Click on the album cover to follow to their website.

This album is inspired by the hymns of Isaac Watts. The music on this first installment of the project is filled with variety and your ears will love you for listening to it. Trust me.

At the bottom of their page, there is a music player that will allow you to listen as you read about the project. Take advantage of it!

If you like what you hear, please feel free to follow this link for more of Sojourn's music:

Sojourn Music

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The Manly Attitude

2009-10-21T21:03:00.016-04:00

I admit that I do not know everything when it comes to marriage and giving advice. I can only tell what I experience and what God shows and teaches me along the way. Having said that, one thing that my wife and I have struggled with is our responses to each other. If I say something, she may hear and understand it differently and vice versa. This seems to be an issue that is prevalent in most, if not all, marriages because men and women communicate differently.

So, with that understanding, I believe there is a more subtle means of communication that takes place along with our words. I have noticed how much my attitude can influence my wife. Sometimes, I find myself being selfish and interested in no one but myself. It’s not that I intentionally act this way, but it happens. And by having this type of behavior, she is subtly influenced to do the same. Then I wonder why she is acting that way when, all the while, her influence is me! Biblically speaking, an example is found in Genesis 3. Here we see God calling Adam and Eve out on their sin. When confronted with the sin, Adam automatically blames Eve, who then blames the serpent for the sin. Upon studying the passage, one can see that God is ultimately blamed.

Can you see how man’s attitude and behavior influenced the woman’s? Adam failed to lead Eve in a godly way. Instead of taking responsibility for the sin, he pushed it on Eve. Being the head of the home, the husband is directly responsible for how he leads the home through his actions and attitudes. We must be careful.

As men, how do we fight against such an issue? We are to discipline ourselves to have the attitude of Christ and we are to discipline ourselves for the purpose of godliness as seen in 1 Timothy 4:7. If we cultivate godly attitudes, then our homes will be saturated with godliness. For this to occur, we must immerse ourselves in the Word of God daily. Then we must teach our families the Scriptures. Yes, we must also teach our wives. Our wives are always looking to learn from us and the way that happens is by spending time in the Word, which overflows into the whole home. Gut level with you, this is something that I struggle to do, but it is extremely essential to a godly marriage.

Question for you: Are you being poured into by other godly men and the Word of God? Beyond that, are you pouring into your family and your wife and building your home on a godly foundation?

To see how Scripture applies to shaping our attitudes and our homes, we must turn to Philippians 2:1-11. Here we see the attitude of Christ, which we must implement into our lives. We must be concerned about other people and less concerned with ourselves. If the Word of God is true, and it is, why is it so hard for men to cultivate this type of attitude and behavior? The reason why men struggle with this is because of pride. In other words, we do not want to be seen as weak or lowly. This is especially true in marriage. We want our wives to see us as bold and courageous rather than wimpy or someone who is easily run over by others.

This pride that I am talking about is an issue of the heart. The solution is not behavior modification. Yes, you can change the way you act, but your heart needs to be changed. Just as Romans 12:2 says, we must “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Also, Ephesians 5:1 calls us to be imitators of Christ. There must be a change in how we think and act but it begins in the heart. And only God can change our callous hearts.

It’s a never ending battle that must be fought by every man that desires to have a godly home. I say that it “must” be fought for because we will be held responsible by God for how we lead our homes and how we lead our wives. I want my wife to see my transparently. I want her to see Jesus in me and the way this happens is by having a growing relationship with Christ and then desiring to have the attitude of Christ as we have seen in Philippians 2. Let this be an everyday challenge to you to lead your wife to Christ. Be intentional and always lead her to the cross. Like you and I, she needs to be reminded of the Gospel every day. Show her what the Gospel looks like lived out.

Do not have the typical manly attitude in the home. It is prideful and defames God and prevents His glory from being seen in the home. Rather, have the mind and attitude of Christ. Imitate Him and be transformed by the renewing of your mind in Christ.

Suggested Reading:

Pastoral Leadership for Manhood and Womanhood - Grudem and Rainey
The Exemplary Husband - Stuart Scott
Manly Dominion - Mark Chanski

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Book of the Week

2009-10-19T07:01:00.006-04:00

This week's reading recommendation is called, "Peacemaking for Families" by Ken Sande with Tom Raabe. It's an excellent source for dealing conflict in the home.

According to the Sande: "Learning to be a peacemaker will help you to guard your family from destructive conflict, deepen your love and intimacy with your spouse, and provide your children with a solid foundation for life. Most importantly, you can provide the world with a compelling witness to Jesus Christ's reconciling power." How true!

Do you ever get tired of reading books that only offer "5 steps to..." or "8 ways to..." I certainly do, but this is one book that does not do that. It's not super long, but it is packed with information dealing with conflict in marriage, confession, confrontation, forgiveness, teaching children how to be peacemakers, etc. You will find encouragement from cover to cover. All in all, the authors seek to reveal the real issue of sin in the home, which is the sinful heart.

So, take some time to go and pick this book up. It is well worth your time and investment. If anything, it's for your family's sake.

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Protect Your Children

2009-10-16T08:44:00.008-04:00

Parents, please do whatever it takes to protect your children. In Australia, a mom experienced the fright of her child's stroller rolling off a platform into the path of a train. Thankfully, the train was slowing down anyway and the baby survived the incident.

For the full news coverage:

Baby Survives After Carriage Falls Off Australia Train Platform

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Truth Couch

2009-10-14T09:08:00.015-04:00

Key Verse: Matthew 18:21-22

Okay, here’s the deal. Since getting married, my wife and I have not gotten into a fight. With that out on the table, I get a little aggravated with people who say, “Oh, you just wait, you’ll have a fight.” Why do people say this? I believe it’s because people settle with the mentality of expecting a fight to come along any day. If you are waiting for and expecting a fight to start between you and your spouse “some day,” then you have just opened the door to allow even the smallest quirk to become “the largest problem known in the existence of man.” How dare us! With this pattern of thought, you have just “told the devil where your goat is tied” (that’s a South Georgia expression). Why not seek to be at peace?

Why settle for this mentality? Because we are lazy! Marriage takes work. We cannot put marriage on autopilot and expect it to get better. Marriage is absolutely amazing, but being that it is a sacred unity between husband and wife before God, it cannot and must not be handled this way. Men, we must lead our wives according to the Word of God, which calls us to forgive. If you are able to forgive but she is struggling to forgive you, then let the Holy Spirit work on her heart. Do not try to make her forgive or force her into a false forgiveness that only band-aides the real issue: pride. Obviously, pride is the main issue because in an argument, we want to be the one who is always right, right?

What is false forgiveness? Let me explain. I use this term because people do not like confrontation. Rather, we say, “It’s okay, don’t worry about it” when in fact, whatever the issue, we are just masking the problem. This is one thing that I have had to learn since being married. You cannot pretend that everything is okay and just move on. Issues must be addressed! How do you know if you have ever offered false forgiveness? Well, the next time you are wronged and you bring up something of the past that the other person has done, there you go! You never forgave them in the first place! Ultimately, it is an issue of the heart. From our mouths we speak, but do not speak the truth (see Luke 6:45). Pride is prevalent on both sides of the marriage bed and can come about in the blink of an eye and develop into a cancer of the heart. The husband’s pride and the wife’s pride must be torn down. The way to do this is something I will discuss shortly.

Before that, we, as men, need to see that we must forgive on the spot (the same is true for women). There is no other option when the spotlight has been placed on you and your wife even in private. Yes, my wife and I have disagreements but we have learned to ask for forgiveness as soon as possible. Before emotions go crazy and words start flying, the heart must be addressed. I believe this is the correct and biblical foundation on which to build a healthy and stable marriage. Address the heart of the problem, not just the symptoms.

When we got married, we were looking for a couch for our main room. Being in an apartment, we could not fit anything massive and did not want anything that was extremely small. So, we landed a good deal on a pull-out couch from a co-worker of mine. Of all the colors, this couch happens to be pale pink, but hey, it somehow looks nice with all the other colors in the apartment. What’s so special about this couch? Well, it has become our “truth couch.” Most times, whenever we have a disagreement, one of us leads the other to the couch and we talk it out. Instead of standing and getting tensed up during a disagreement, we are able to sit down and relax and talk. Every talk has been encouraging and it draws us closer to each other. Remember that the key is living out the command from Jesus to forgive others and live at peace with everyone. Know the truth, live the truth. You must be living out the Gospel.

Husband, what about you? You are able to forgive, but are you willing to when your wife wrongs you? I encourage you to have a place where you and your wife can relax and talk about the issue. You will find it to be beneficial to do so, but realize that that you will always struggle with your selfishness that does not want to forgive. Because of this, we must desire to forgive because God has forgiven us. If you have not placed your trust and life in Christ, then you will not understand true forgiveness. Understanding of true forgiveness comes when you see that you have greatly offended God, but He has greatly forgiven you. I once heard, “If you are not willing to forgive, then you are saying that God’s forgiveness is meaningless.”

How true.

Remember, this is an issue of the heart. Once you start with that understanding, you are on your way to a successful, meaningful and healthy talk with your wife. Be prepared for a blessed marriage!

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Book of the Week

2009-10-11T18:13:00.016-04:00

Here's a book that I have read and have thoroughly enjoyed:

"Pastoral Leadership for Manhood and Womanhood" by Wayne Grudem and Dennis Rainey.

In this book, you will hear from men like Danny Akin, Ken Sande, C.J. Mahaney, Paul David Tripp, Paige Patterson, Wayne Grudem and others on topics like marriage, fatherhood, men's ministry, singles ministry, church discipline, small groups and even homosexuality. With such a large array of topics, you will learn about the pastor's personal life, opportunities for personal and church growth, and challenges that Christians face today. So, go pick up a copy and start reading and be encouraged! It's an easy and time-worthy read and I am certain that you will thoroughly enjoy it, too!

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Who Is Willing?

2009-10-10T18:12:00.014-04:00

At this very moment, there is a problem that is severely permeating our culture. With one glance into a group of males anyone can see there are apparent differences such as height, weight, skin color, hair type and so on. But I am speaking of a difference that goes much deeper into the very being and cannot be seen with just once glance. Shooting with you straight, there are boys who refuse to become men and become who they are called to be. This is a refusal to accept the burden of manhood. It can be overwhelming because of all the responsibility that incurs due to marriage, children, work, church, recreation and any other aspect you want to include. Because of this refusal, many males are following after the deception of entertainment and pointless ventures and are not willing to accept the responsibilities of manhood.

Since this website is mainly for men who are married, I encourage single men to read it and learn as well. I say this with the understanding that not every guy is called to be married. But for both married and single men, you are still a male who needs to learn to give up the trivial things and be a man. All men need to understand that they need to take care of business. Growing up, my dad always encouraged me to do things and to do them right the first time. Whether it was yard work, changing my truck’s oil or whatever, he always encouraged me in that direction. Yes, it was painful at times to learn and that was due to my stubbornness, but I am extremely thankful for him teaching me that principle. It taught me what it means to become a man in practical ways.

Now, do not get me wrong. I am not saying that boys need to grow up to become macho men who can shoulder stacks of lumber like they are nothing. Being macho is not what I am talking about. It is pointless to be able to shoulder those stacks of lumber unless you are able to take them and build something. I believe that even macho men can crumble under the weight of manhood responsibility or even become overly demanding in order to handle situations in life. Both instances are dangerous. Rather, boys need to become men who are willing to gladly (this is key) take up the burden of manhood responsibilities (shoulder the stacks of lumber) and become men and one day husbands who love and adore their wives (build stable relationships, etc. with the stacks of lumber).

In regards to your wife, men, I plead with you to be Jesus to your wife. Let her see, know and feel the love of Christ through your love for her. I adore my wife and I tell her. What good is it for me to adore and cherish my wife and not tell her? It is absolutely essential for her to hear it and because of hearing it, she knows it without a shadow of a doubt. (If you have not done this in a while, it may sweep her off her feet again. Wow!) Try this: the next time you bite into a well-seasoned steak and make a comment about it being the absolute best, take a moment to compliment your wife and tell her you love her. It’s not that hard. Never be too prideful to tell your wife how you feel about her every day. It is okay to be mushy with your wife; that’s how she operates. Whether you are 20 years old or 80, let your wife know that she is wanted and that she is loved. Do whatever it takes to rekindle that flame.

Guys, it’s all about perspective. Shoulder the stacks of lumber in life and marriage and build your life on the foundation of the Word of God.

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Welcome

2009-10-08T23:49:00.006-04:00

Thank you for coming to this website. Since you are here, I would greatly appreciate it if you would please take a few minutes to read. Men, I hope you'll find some encouragement on this page, but please take note that I will only be able to post a few times a week because of my schedule. Wives, if this page is something your husbands would want to read, pass it on. All in all, be encouraged!

If you like what you read, please visit my other website: The [FOUND] Project.

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